Flip the script
by scarface101
Summary: During the course of the war, Rin Nohara managed to survive her suicide on Kakashi's Lightning blade. What else has changed in the Narutoverse? Warning: Naruto x Harem. Genderbending. Limited bashing. (Up for adoption.)


**A/N: Nothing much to say here. Hope you enjoy the fic. Reviews and Feedback are very much appreciated. All Flames and random insults will be ignored. Zero fuqs given.**

 **Chapter one: Changes in history! The new Team Seven!**

"They're gaining on us!" Shouted the form of Rin Nohara as she followed her teammate to safety with numerous Kiri nin chasing the two. After being captured... she had been forced into becoming the Jinchuuriki for the Sanbi, and she quickly surmised that upon her return to Konoha she would become an unwilling Suicide bomber, with the Sanbi itself meant to destroy the village.

"I know! Just keep running!" Kakashi shouted as they raced through the woods. The unwilling Jinchuuriki starting to give up hope, even if they managed to escape their pursuers, there was still the matter of her being a weapon meant to destroy Konoha.

"Kakashi-kun? There's only one way to end this... you have to kill me." She pleaded with him, knowing it was the only way to protect Konoha from herself and the Sanbi. Her teammate head whipped around with his lone visible eye staring at her as though she were crazy.

"No! It doesn't have to be this way! Don't start talking like that! Minato-sensei or Kushina-sama can fix this! They can help you! We just need to get to a safe place!" Kakashi replied as he lifted up his headband to reveal his Sharingan eye, left to him by Obito his other teammate. The masked Ninja looked back ahead and saw a Kiri Anbu dashing towards them with a katana in hand, prompting the Sharingan user to prepare his original technique, the Lightning Blade.

Seeing her chance, Rin got in front of him in a burst of speed and allowed herself to be impaled through the chest by his jutsu. The masked boy's eyes staring wide in shock at what she had done. "Sorry Kakashi-kun... I had to... for the village... I... couldn't let... myself... hurt..." she wheezed out before her eyes rolled into her head and then they closed as she slumped forward.

Kakashi landed on the ground, laying Rin's body to the ground. Her expression seemed to be so peaceful now, causing tears to fall down his face. He wanted to take her with him, it pained him to leave her body here, but he had to escape. After silently promising to come back and give her a proper burial, Kakashi vanished in a swirl of leaves, leaving behind a group of disgruntled Kiri nin. Then... came an ear piercing scream followed by a shower of blood.

 **Elsewhere.**

"Where am I? Is this... the realm of the dead?" Asked Rin as she seemed to float around underwater, yet still she could breath and speak as if she were on dry land. If it wasn't the world of the deceased, it may be Purgatory where the Shinigami collects the souls of the dead. Off in the distance, a large black figure seemed to be swiiming towards her, likely the Death god himself coming to claim her soul.

"Kushina-sama? Minato-sensei? Was I good and just? Did I do you proud? Did I do my duty as a Kunoichi? Will I see the wonders of the heavens, or be damned to the pits of hell?" She asked herself as she covered her eyes, desperately wishing that she could have at least said goodbye to the people who were like parents to her as a Kunoichi.

"You were good and just Rin-chan. I'm sure you did your master and teachers proud." Spoke a deep voice that echoed around her. When she uncovered her eyes, she was met with not the form of the Shinigami... but the form of the Sanbi itself.

"Ohayo, Rin-chan. I suppose this would be our first time actually meeting. I wish it were under much better circumstances though." The turtle like Bijuu spoke in a polite tone, bowing his head slightly in order to greet her. The small medic nin's mouth dropping at the fact that the Bijuu... was actually talking with her.

"What's that funny look for? You really thought that we Bijuu were just mindless beasts of destruction incarnate? Bah! A false narrative cooked up by Humans. I suppose it is easier to enslave something if you believe that it has no mind, morals or soul." The Sanbi lamented with a sigh.

"Sorry. I just... I didn't know. Kushina-sama doesn't talk much about the Kyuubi... so..." she tried to explain herself as she nervously fidgeted beneath the beast's gaze.

"Ah. It's no big deal little one. I blame your Shodaime Hokage." The Sanbi proclaimed with a venomous tone when he mentioned the Hokage, from what Rin could tell, just speaking about the Shodaime left a bad taste in the Bijuu's mouth.

"Shodaime-sama? What did he ever do to you?" Rin asked as she crossed her arms with a small huff, forgetting about her previous fears. It seemed like the Sanbi wasn't going to harm her anyway, and he didn't seem to have any ill intentions.

"Ohhhhh, I don't know. Sealed me and my siblings into unwilling Human hosts, then pawned us all off like cheap toys. Do you know how it feels to be turned into a weapon against your will?! Oh waaaaaait, that actually happened to you just now. So excuse me for holding a grudge against that thrice damned man-child you call a Hokage. Poor Kurama-chan... it must have broken her heart to see us treated like that." The Sanbi spoke, his little rant earning an open mouthed expression from Rin.

He was right, being made into an unwilling weapon meant to bring harm unto others... was a truly terrible feeling. Especially if it was to do harm unto those you considered friends and family. "I... yeah. You're not wrong about that. It must feel terrible to have to fight your... siblings? And who's Kurama?" She asked, tilting her head to the side as she scratched at her cheek a bit.

"Ah. We were all raised like siblings. Brothers and sisters. And Kurama was my big sister, she always cared so deeply for us. She had such an adventurous soul too... but I digress. We need to move onto more important matters. You're not dead Rin-chan. Not yet at least, but you could still bleed out if your wound isn't mended." The Sanbi spoke, immediately shifting the conversation as his demeanor became much more serious in nature.

"What do you mean I'm not dead?! I was just pierced through the chest! There should be a big gaping hole where my chest used to be!" She yelled in denial as she frantically waved her arms.

"But your teammate's jutsu... did it pierce through your heart?" The Bijuu asked with some dark amusement as he let out a chuckle. Making Rin freeze up with her mouth agape.

"Ohhhh shit. I totally forgot! I was born with an inverted heart! So then... son of a bitch... I overshot my jump and got impaled through the wrong side. I must have passed out from the shock." She muttered to herself as she quickly pieced together how she had survived.

"Ah. Lucky you. If it weren't for my chakra keeping you together, you likely would have bled out in under a minute. Maybe less. My chakra's still at work in healing your injury, and I am also doing something about that seal so you can safely return home without becoming a living Bijuu carrying bomb." The Sanbi spoke, having an almost proud expression on its face.

"Really? If that were to be made defunct... then... I could... thank you Sanbi-sama. That'd mean the world to me." She spoke with a warm smile and swam over to him, hugging his face and planting a small kiss against the Bijuu's maw. The Sanbi's face turning a neon red color.

"Oi, oi. Don't go getting all sweet on me. Way I see it, I was crammed into your body without your consent. Back in the day, Mito Uzumaki would only seal us away into willing hosts for safekeeping, but that bastard Hashirama stole us and gave us away like free candy to the other villages. And... I'm getting off track here... what I mean to say is, both Bijuu and host, willing or unwilling need to stick together. You're a good kid Rin-chan, and I'd hate to see a sweet young girl like you be snuffed out without doing some real good in the world." The Sanbi explained with a smile forming on his face.

"I understand. Maybe someday in the future, your siblings and my fellow hosts can live in happiness. By the way... you said your older sister was called Kurama... do you have a name too?" She asked with a sweet smile, hoping to learn the name of the three tailed beast.

"Call me Isobu, Rin-chan. I hope we can get along. Oh... there's one thing I forgot to mention... Bijuu Chakra is both potent and dangerous. So... expect there to be some side effects after you've recovered." the now named Isobu explained with a somewhat nervous tone in his voice.

"Wait... Side effects? What side effects?" Rin asked in fear, wondering if these 'side effects' involved becoming some kind of a teenage mutant ninja turtle.

"Eh. Don't worry about it. Shouldn't be anything serious." Isobu answered in a dismissive tone, casually waving her off with one of his tails.

"SHOULDN'T?! That doesn't sound very promising!" The medic nin shouted, and then found herself being pulled upwards out from the watery depths.

 **Real World.**

Rin awoke as her eyes snapped open, her mouth agape as she loudly gasped for air, almost as if she had awoken from a nightmare. She groaned as she tenderly reached for the injured region of her chest and felt nothing but soft unblemished flesh. "Gotta be a better way to heal an injury. Should ask Kushina-sama about training in Bijuu powers." She muttered as she forced herself up, every muscle and bone in her body either aching or stiff as her joints popped.

"Goddamn that hurts." She spoke as she tried stretching out her limbs... and then her eyes widened in horror she saw the grisly scene around her. The twisted and bloody forms of Kiri ninjas, some of them, tangled up in some kind of twisted and thorny trees that she'd never scene before. Had some unknown enemy of theirs attacked and killed them? Shrugging to herself, it was now no longer important. Anyone of Kiri who knew about her holding the San... err, Isobu were now dead.

If Isobu was right, then the seal that could have caused his release and the destruction of Konoha was now defunct, allowing her safe return home. "Just wait everyone. Rin Nohara's not dead yet. Though... ow... near death experiences aren't exactly healthy for the human body. I think I'll take it slow and easy for a while." She spoke as she limped away, trying not to agravate her sore body as she went on her way back home.

 **Years later.**

"Rin-san? Are you still with us?" Asked the concerned voice of the Sandaime Hokage as he observed the now Jonin Medic nin who seemed to have been staring out into empty space, the Hokage's question earning some chuckles from her colleagues.

The Sanbi container smiled and replied "Hai. Sorry about that Hokage-sama, I was distracted by some old memories. Please continue." At her response, the aged Sandaime merely nodded as he continued to speak and go over the team assignments for this year's batch of Genin candidates. Rin yawned in boredom as she ignored all the unimportant teams.

"Hey. Fairy-chan? Don't go spacing out again." Spoke the form of her ex-teammate Kakashi Hatake as he closed off a flask and attached it to his hip then pulled out a familiar orange book.

"Look who's talking. At least I have the decency to refrain from drinking booze while I'm on the clock, and I'm not the one that's reading porn in public... and that's not even the good kind of porn." She spit back, frowning at the bad habits that her teammate picked up. Upon her subsequent return to Konoha, many of her friends and fellow Ninjas were delighted to see her return. Kakashi however... he was still to this day plagued with guilt over piercing her body with his own jutsu, and he still felt guilty over Obito's death. So the masked Ninja took to drinking alcohol and reading that tasteless and cheap Icha Icha series.

Additionally, it wasn't till much later that she finally discovered the effects that Isobu's chakra had on her body after saving her from death. It had permanently halted her growth, effectively trapping her in the body of a young girl. Doctors were baffled by this phenomena, and even Tsunade couldn't aid in reversing this. As such, because of her condition, some of her colleagues started to call her 'Fairy-chan'. A nickname she had learned to take in stride.

"It's not porn. It's..." The Copy Ninja tried to retort, but was cut off by his ex-teammate.

"It's art. I know. A very poor excuse for art. It has no plotline, the dialogue is cringeworthy, and at least ninety-two percent of those pages you're reading consist of poorly written smut scenes." She spoke with a sigh, very happy that the Icha Icha series was quickly losing it's popularty.

Before they could continue to argue further, the Sandaime cleared his throat as if to warn them and gain their attention at the same time, which caused the both of them to lightly glare at one another, but at least they had now ceased their bickering. "As I was saying. Asuma Sarutobi will be in charge of the next Ino-Shika-Cho generation. Kurenai Yuhi shall be training Kiba Inuzuka, Shino Aburame, and Hinata Hyuuga as a scouting and tracking team. Now for Team Seven, consisting of Sakura Haruno, Satsuki Uchiha, and Naruto Uzumaki... I still have yet to choose an appropriate Sensei for this group."

At this, both Kakashi and Rin piped up and spoke in unison "I will take Team Seven." When they realized they had both volunteered at the same time, they glared at one another since they both had very different motivations for wanting to teach the next generation of Team Seven.

"Mmm. I see. You're both very capable Ninjas, and either of you would make for good candidates. State your cases and I shall determine who will be in charge. Rin-san? Ladies first." The Sandaime offered, hoping to ease the tensions between the two. It was no secret that the two loathed each other after the War, and after Minato's death and Kushina's disappearance, an even deeper wedge seemed to be put between them.

"Of course. To state my case, I have studied up on all probable students, and this carnation of Team Seven seems heavily flawed. While Sakura Haruno has very high academic success, she has little in the way of real-world skills and little to no actual combat training. Satsuki Uchiha is very much talented and skilled, but she is known to have an antagonistic, and occasionally mistrustful, Lone Wolf type nature which could disrupt Team Dynamics. Naruto Uzumaki is somewhat of a Loose Cannon, and while having the worst Academic grades, seems to possess the greatest potential since he seemingly mastered an extremely Chakra taxing S-rank jutsu in but a few short hours. Not to mention he is the container for the Kyuubi.

As a fellow Jinchuuriki, it is my responsibility to teach him to cooperate with his tenant and how to control the destructive nature of Bijuu Chakra. Without proper training, Naruto-kun could potentially become a danger to himself, his allies and friends, and even Konoha. As Sensei for Team Seven, I would be sure that all my students get the training they need, and to work past their flaws. Though admittedly, if any of my students were to deserve special treatment, it'd be Naruto-kun. Not because he necessarily deserves it... but he definitely needs it given his and mine shared burdens." Rin explained in a professional tone, earning a nod of approval from the Sandaime.

"You make a good case there. You're absolutely right that young Naruto needs the extra help. Without it, he could unwittingly cause harm unto others. Kakashi? What have you to say?" The Hokage spoke and gestured for the masked Jonin to say his piece.

"Thank you Hokage-sama. As Sensei for Team Seven I will be certain to teach them the fundamentals of Teamwork. And being a user of the Sharingan, I can teach Satsuki Uchiha how to use her Bloodline when it is unlocked. Being amongst the last of her clan, Satsuki-san needs much needed guidance and training to ensure her future." The Copy nin spoke and paused to lift up his headband, revealing his Sharingan eye as if to illustrate his point.

Before he could continue speaking, he was interrupted by Rin "Hokage-sama, I must protest! Kakashi has it stuck in his mind that he failed Obito-kun so he needs to somehow make up for it by catering to Satsuki-san. Yes, Kakashi can teach her to use the Sharingan, but that is currently moot seeing as how she hasn't even unlocked it yet. And Teamwork is a must in almost any scenario, but Kakashi thinks that it's something that can be forced into the Team."

"I wasn't done talking yet Rin, and Hokage-sama hasn't given you permission to..." The Copy nin interjected, but was silenced by a raised hand from the Sandaime.

"Silence Hatake. I wish to hear what Rin-san has to say. Rin? What is your take on Teamwork for a Shinobi team?" The Hokage asked in curiosity, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"As I previously stated, Teamwork is a must, but Kakashi believes that it can be hammered into the students with repetitive Teamwork exercises, which is entirely wrong. It has to come naturally through learning to work together in their own time, at their own pace. Each team is different and needs to settle into and understand the Dynamics of their team members. Furthermore, Individual skills are vastly more important than Teamwork. What if the individual members of the team get seperated and must fend for themselves? Teamwork isn't going to save their lives. They'll need to save themselves. You'd think Kakashi would have learned that back during the war." Rin spoke, glaring heatedly at her ex-teammate who also glared back, his Sharingan eye making him look much more intimidating.

"Enough! Rin seems to have made the better case. And I would feel much more comfortable leaving her in charge of Team Seven." The Sandaime spoke up, cutting the tension in the air as Kakashi turned towards the Hokage asking 'Why?'

"Rin-san seems to be more concerned for the team as a whole, and understands that the skills of the Individual is more important than Teamwork, which can be achieved at later time. And frankly, the powers of a Jinchuuriki can often be both destructive and unstable, so I'd feel safer knowing that Naruto-kun is getting the training he needs to understand and control the powers of his burden more efficiently. Besides, if Satsuki-san does awaken her Sharingan, she can be temporarily turned over to you for supplementary lessons. Rin 'The Fairy' Nohara shall be Sensei for Team Seven." Hiruzen spoke and gave an approving nod to the Sanbi Jinchuuriki.

Rin could almost feel Kakashi glaring at her tiny form from the sidelines, just like a sore loser. Why he wanted to be in charge of Team Seven she didn't fully understand. Likely it was for the exclusive sake of training the Uchiha himself for Obito's memory. She sorely missed Obito, but he was dead and gone, nothing would be bringing him back. Obito knew the risks of being a Shinobi and he unfortunately paid the price for it. And that happened years ago, you'd think Kakashi would have moved on by now.

"Oh, Hokage-sama? One more thing... is it all right if I enlist an assistant to help teach my students a wider variety of skills?" Rin asked with a sly smile, her expression seeming... much too happy which made the other Jonin feel a bit uncomfortable.

"Do as you wish. Your team, you can train them as you like, provided that it isn't deliberately meant to cause harm to them." The Sandaime spoke, though for some reason he also had a sinking feeling that Rin had something... very scary in mind.

 **Later. Konoha Academy.**

"Hey. Hey. Satsuki? What do you think our teacher's going to be like?" Asked the form of one Naruto Uzumaki to his apparently new teammate Satsuki Uchiha, the Rookie of the Year and Top Kunoichi of the Academy. The Uchiha in question having an extremely strong resemblance of her mother, sometimes the adults would occasionally call her 'Mikoto-sama' by mistake since it seemed as though Satsuki was a miniature version of her mom.

The blonde's question remained unanswered as he looked over and saw that the Uchiha was fast asleep. Likely having dozed off while Iruka was droning on as normal. The whiskered teen gently shook Satsuki's shoulder to wake her up, making her eyes snap open as she woke up with a loud yelp, causing Naruto to reel back in surprise while in the background Sakura quickly turned in the direction of the noise to see what was going on.

"Oh my god! I just had a dream that I was some angsty Emo boy with a stick up my ass and I was trained by some creepy ass Pedophile. And that wasn't the worst of it..." The Uchiha muttered as her body shivered.

"What could be worse than that? I once had a dream where I was some retard that could only scream 'Dattebayo' and 'Hokage' all the time. It was awful." The blonde spoke with a shudder.

"I had this horrible haircut that looked like a duck's ass, and nobody would call me out on how awful it looked!" The Uchiha whined in an almost girlish manner that made Naruto sweat-drop slightly, although Sakura nodded in agreement at how bad that kind of haircut sounded.

The Uchiha rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes and then looked around the classroom, noting that it was now empty save for both Naruto and Sakura. "Guess you two are my teammates then? Well... at least I'm not with that horndog Kiba. Where's our Sensei?" Satsuki asked with a yawn.

"Should be on the way now. Apparently our Sensei is someone called Rin Nohara. I heard about her from my mom. Apparently Rin-san's a talented medic and is often called 'The Fairy' or 'Fairy-chan'. And speaking of Kiba, poor Hinata got paired with him." Sakura chimed in, feeling bad for the poor Hyuuga girl.

"Bright side? She was also paired with Shino, he should be able to keep a balance in their team. If not, then their Sensei Kurenai-san can. Kurenai doesn't take shit from guys who can only think with what's between their legs." Naruto spoke up as he stretched out his limbs then shivered a bit as a breeze blew through the open window, making him get up and close it to shut out the cool wind.

After returning to his seat he spoke up, continuing with their current topic "With Shino and Kurenai around, I think that Hinata will be okay." The blonde's two cents made his teammates nod in agreement.

"Indeed. You know, in my dream, I think my male self was overcompensating for something since he kept on showing off and seemed to take pride in turning things into a dick measuring contest. Glad I was born a girl. Last thing I want is to be some angsty Gary Stu with a micropenis." Satsuki piped in casually with a bored yawn.

"Satsuki... as a guy... that's kind of a scary thought. If you were a guy, then that would have been one of the worst ways to lose my first kiss." Naruto spoke, hinting at an earlier incident where he had been knocked forward by accident and ended up kissing Satsuki.

"No kidding Dobe. I think you made my fanboys green with envy. Though I gotta admit... it wasn't that bad. But why'd you have to use tongue?" The Uchiha asked, looking over at her rival with devious smirk.

"For the last time, the tongue thing was an accident. It just slipped out cuz I was kinda in shock." Naruto retorted as he looked away with a small blush.

"Uh-huh. Sure Dobe. You still need to learn a thing or two about kissing though." Satsuki spoke with a snarky and mocking tone in her voice.

"And you're an expert Ms. Ballbuster?" The blonde asked with a smirk, knowing that Satsuki would sometimes 'accidentally' kick a fanboy in the balls if he got a little too grabby with her during class spars.

"Touche Dobe. You got me there." The Uchiha admitted in defeat since she wasn't exactly familiar with romance. Their conversation was interrupted when a small brown haired girl with purple facial markings on her cheeks entered inside with a bright smile on her face.

The girl gave a friendly wave and spoke with a bubbly tone to her voice "Hiya! I'm Rin Nohara. And I'm to be your Sensei! So very nice to meet you all." At the end of her introduction the three students looked at the girl with puzzled expressions.

Sakura leaned over and whispered to her teammates "This is our Sensei? She doesn't look any older than us!" Both Satsuki and Naruto couldn't help but nod in agreement with the pinkette's statement as they all now kind of understood why Rin was nicknamed 'Fairy-chan'.

Rin seemd to be confused by the odd looks from her students then realized that this was the first time they'd actually seen her in person. "Oh! I guess I look kind of strange since I seem to be around your age. Well, a certain incident in my past permanently stopped my body from growing and maturing, so I'm kind of stuck like this. But don't be fooled! I may be small, but I'm super powerful thanks to years of hardcore training!" The Sanbi Jinchuuriki shouted gleefully as she adopted a martial arts stance and thrust her fist forward for emphasis... but instead it only made for an adorable display.

"She's so cute... just like a fairy." Muttered Naruto with a sweat-drop, his teammates agreeing with him silently. Before they could introduce themselves to their new sensei, a blur crashed through the window and some kind of ball unfurled, revealing a woman wearing a trench coat with a banner behind her that reads 'The Sexy, Deadly, and Single, Anko Mitarashi-sama has arrived!'

"All right you little runts! Anko-sama is here to... oh! Lookie here! It's Naruto-kun!" The Snake Mistress spoke excitedly, cutting off her own introduction midway when she spotted the form of her favorite whiskered blonde.

"Naruto? You know this nutcase?" Sakura asked in a dead-pan tone, a sweat-drop forming on her forehead.

"Yeah. Well... me and Anko-chan are on-again-off-again roommates. Sometimes she crashes at my apartment after a mission or something and we became fast friends. She's kinda sadistic and at times, unstable, but you could never hope to meet a more loyal friend... just don't mess with her Dango." The blonde answered with a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of his head.

Rin however, could only stare blankly at the Snake mistress and asked "Anko-chan? Couldn't you have used the door like a normal person? Why'd you have to crash through the window?"

"And miss making an awesome entrance and deep first impression on the kiddies? No thanks. Though for some reason the window was closed. I thought I opened it earlier ahead of time when you asked me to be your assistant." Anko replied, looking towards the broken window with a puzzled expression, which made Naruto realized that he had closed the open window from before. Though he wasn't sure if it was a good idea to mention that.

"But seriously Anko-chan... why the window?" Rin asked again, not understanding her friend's logic.

"Hey. A Shinobi's gotta be prepped and ready for anything! Include the most wacky and unexpected occurrences." The purple haired woman replied with a boistrous laugh as she smacked the shoulder of the pint sized Jonin.

"Okay. Okay. You make a good point. Anyway's kids, I have asked Anko-chan here to be my assistant in training and teaching you. She'll also be your substitute teacher if I am unavailable. Now then, shall we begin introducing ourselves?" The brown haired girl asked sweetly, though her students still seemed to be having a difficult time processing what had just happened.

"Why don't you two go first? You're the sensei's aren't you?" Naruto asked with a shrug as he crossed his arms.

"Mmm. Good point. All right then. My name's Rin Nohara, though some of my friends call me 'Fairy-chan'. My likes are Strawberries, my friends, and my home village. My dislikes are pedos, rapists, and people who take advantage of others for their selfish gains. My hobbies include spending time with and bonding with my friends, and reading and studying medical books and techniques. My goal... is to someday make a world where all people from all the nations can be truly happy, so that I don't have to lose anymore friends to the fires of war." The Sanbi Jinchuuriki introduced herself, then gestured for her partner to begin.

"I'm the Sexy, Deadly, and Single Anko Mitarashi-sama. My likes are Dango, Sake, my adorable little Foxy-kun over there, and my friends obviously. My Dislikes, are traitors, people who mess with my Dango, and people who treat me like I'm some kind of hooker because of my choice of clothes. My hobbies are torturing criminals for fun, usually pedos, rapists and such, and developing new poisons. My goal for the future? Is to kill a certain man." Anko spoke in a casual manner, miming a kiss in the blonde's direction which earned a small tinge of pink on his cheeks.

"Err. Right. I'm Naruto Uzumaki. My likes are Ramen, especially Ichiraku Ramen, and I also like the Princess Gale movies. My dislikes are people who underestimate me, liars and cheats, and negligent asshole teachers. My hobbies are trying to learn new Ninja techniques, and making new friends. My Goal is to someday become Hokage so that I can stick it to all the people who ever called me a loser or a dem... err freak." The blonde spoke, nearly slipping up with the term 'demon' which didn't go unnoticed by Anko and Rin.

"I'm Satsuki Uchiha. My likes are Power, and my Mother. I have a lot of dislikes, the top ones being horny fanboys, and people that try to suck up to me to get in my good graces. My hobbies are training and visiting my mother in the hospital, waiting to see if she has awoken from her coma. My goal, is to confront my elder sister Izumi... and demand the truth of why she murdered our entire clan. And if I find her answer unsatisfactory, I will destroy her." The Uchiha spoke in a callous tone, making her teammates swallow nervously.

"Okaaaay, I'm Sakura Haruno. My likes are my mother, and... a certain someone. I dislike people who think Kunoichi are only good for seduction type missions, and I HATE the Civilian Council. My hobbies are flower pressing and I have been dabbling in some medical Jutsu. And my goal is... well... I haven't really decided on one just yet." The pinkette spoke with slight embarrassment at not having decided on a dream for the future.

"Don't worry. You're still young. You can decide on that kind of thing later. You all seem like pretty good kids, and from what I overheard earlier, you seem to get along fairly well. That's good. Now comes the next test for you three." Rin spoke, her sweet and bubbly expression melting away into a more hardened and slightly sadistic one.

"Eh? Overheard? You were spying on us? And what's this thing about a test?" Naruto asked nervously, hoping it wasn't a test of the paper variety.

"It's in the best interest of a Jonin to understand their students. And I wanted to know how you three acted without any supervision. Glad to know you get along okay. Now let me elaborate. The Academy exam is a means of discerning who has the potentiall to become Genin... but the real test comes next to determine who can make the final cut. If my calculations are correct... at least sixty-six percent of your class will be going back to the Academy. I hope that's not the case with you three." Rin explained, rubbing her hands together in a rather gleeful manner.

"Ummm... why kind of test are we talking about?" Sakura asked rather nervously since she didn't know anything about this beforehand.

"Yeah, and what the hell? We just passed the Academy exam and now we need to do another one that we weren't told about? That's kind of a dick move don't you think?" Satsuki asked with a frown on her face.

The Sanbi Jinchuuriki merely shrugged her shoulders and replied "Yeah. It kind of is, but in the world of Shinobi, anything can happen as Anko-chan kindly demonstrated. And oft times, it will be quite unfair. Anyways, I'll explain more about your test tomorrow. We'll be meeting at Training Ground Seven at 10:00 AM, be sure to eat a light breakfast so you don't puke. If you're late, Anko-chan shall be handling the punishments, and trust me... she can be creative." When the medic nin finished speaking, Anko now had a sadistic grin that sent chills down the Genin's spines, then the two Jonin vanished in a swirl of leaves, leaving three Genin hopefuls wishing that they could stay home tomorrow.

 **Meanwhile.**

"Hey? Kakazu? Been thinking... is there really any real meaning to our lives? Are we just subjects of entertainment, cast into a realm of countless possibilities as people write, re-write and change our stories to their hearts content? Believing that the one who created us did everything wrong?" Spoke a silver haired woman carrying a triple-bladed scythe while wearing a black coat with crimson clouds, the front of the coat open which revealed a pair of very large breasts that was barely kept hidden at this time.

"The hell are you on about Hida-chan? You're usually rambling about finding sacrifices to your Jashin-sama or something. What you're saying now, makes no sense whatsoever." Spoke the form of another woman who wore the same cloak, but her face was hidden behind a mask, though her eyes were a vibrant green with crimson sclera.

"Dunno. Been having weird dreams. I was some kinda creepy as fuck, guy that popped a boner whenever I could cut myself up like a living Masochistic Voodoo doll or something." Hida replied as she scratched the side of her face.

Her companion's eyes narrowing as she replied "Did you have to put that image into my head? Now I'm picturing you as a guy. Fine then. I've been having similar dreams where I'm a miser. And not just any miser. I look like something that was given birth to by an old Raggedy Anne doll, the doctor's fucked up the abortion so they had to so me back together, but the Doc that put me back together was drunk and had butter fingers, so he also attached some kind of mask creatures to my back too." The masked woman spoke, trying to put into as much detail as she could to put a disturbing image into the silver haired woman's head.

"Yikes. That is scary... but don't you have mask creatures too?" Hida asked with a small sweat-drop.

"Yes. Which I can reverse summon on a dime, if I need to. Not attached to my backside. My body is barely being held together as it is dumbass!" Kakazu answered in an irritated tone.

"Fine, fine. Sheesh. Don't pop a gasket or anything. Where we even going anyway?" Asked Hida with a raised eyebrow, since her partner had apparently been glancing repeatedly at a map for the past several hours.

"To Ame. We are going to personally meet with Pein-sama, she's called a meeting for all the Akatsuki members. Maybe you'd have known that if you weren't busy butchering that guy and pulling his intestines out of his gut." Kakazu answered with an annoyed sigh.

"To be fair, he tried to grope me. And what can I say? The human body has got a lot more guts than you'd think. Takes a while to pull all of it out bare-handed. Anywho, any idea what this meeting's all about? It's not like Pein-sama to call these meetings without some kinda reason." The Jashinist asked with a bored yawn, pulling aside her cloak a bit to expose her left breast as she scratched at her chest. Not really caring for her modesty.

"Gee. I wonder why pervs keep coming onto you? And to answer your question, not really sure. Pein-sama called for everyone to be there. As soon as possible, she said. Must be pretty serious. Regardless, we don't want to risk incurring her wrath." Kakazu answered as she looked at the map again.

"Oi. Zu-chan? Your eyes okay there? You keep looking at that map like you're trying to stare a hole into it." Hida spoke as she shoved her hand inside her cloak and seemed to now be scratching at her crotch region.

"My eyes are just fine. I replace my hearts, not my eyes. My map reading skills however, seems to have deteriorated a bit though. This cheap-ass map has got me baffled." The masked woman replied as she brought her face closer to the map in her hands.

"Could help if you weren't reading it upside down, dummy." The silver haired woman answered as she started scratching at her butt cheeks now.

After a few moments of silence, Kakazu asked "Hida-chan? How long have you known I have been reading the map upside down?"

The Jashinist started to pick at her nose with her pinkie finger to scratch an itch inside her nostril and answered "Since we left that last village. Why?"

"You knew... and you didn't bother to say anything?" Kakazu asked as her body began to shake in fury.

"Was waiting to see how long you'd notice." Hida replied with barely contained laughter as she saw her companion's face start to turn beet red in anger. The masked woman threw off her cloak revealing her rag doll-esque body with tendrils appearing on her back, making the Jashinist's face fall... it seems like the joke was now over.

 **End Chapter one.**

 **Next Time: With the future of Team Seven on the line, one hopeful Genin steps up to the challenge to turn things around during their test. Meanwhile, Akatsuki seems to be moving far sooner than in another timeline. Why? What could this meeting be about? Find out next time.**


End file.
